The Curse of the Written Guarentee
The written guarantee is taken very seriously in Kelly, WY. Eric may reconsider before he writes another written guarantee. If you do not like hunting, consider not reading this account.
The Curse of my Written Guarantee
BY Eric Seymour
Several beers deep I made the statement, “I guarantee I will get an elk this year.” My friend, a hunter, looks at me with a questioning look on his face, and states, “are you willing to put that in writing?” I reply, “You bet, how hard can it be, I shot a six point bull last year for my first elk ever.” Jumping up I grab a piece of paper and write that I will harvest an elk this year and sign and date the document. The next morning I wake up with my head a bit foggy and see the piece of paper taped to the fridge. Shit, I call my friend trying to back out of the agreement. He says, “no way you have a written guarantee and you are only as good as your word.”
My written guarantee for the elk has been growing to haunt me. After 30 days of hunting and the alarm going off at 4:30a.m. I have hiked over 200 miles (GPS data) with my 40 pound pack and 8 pound gun. I spent 7 days in a row hiking a mountain with a 2800 foot elevation gain in dark of the night. I froze my ass off as the temperature average was 10 degrees during the sunrise. I saw several elk but was never able to get a clean shot off.
With Thanksgiving coming and an inevitable trip to visit the in-laws, I was starting to really sweat the prospect of not fulfilling my written guarantee. “I am only as good as my word,” I thought, and I signed it on paper for all to see. With my hunting licence expiring at the end of the month, I tried to bail on the Thanksgiving trip to see my inlaws. Now my wife puts up with me hunting for a month, but wow did I get chastised for that.
The day before I was to leave and my permit would expire I really got into the elk. I was hiking a game trail and walked in on a herd that was only 25 feet away. I could smell them and hear them talking. They were behind a bunch of willows with only their asses sticking out. A spike stuck his head up (I only have a cow tag now) and looked right at me, I didn’t move. I sat hiding from them for about five minutes hoping a cow elk would reveal itself. The wind finally shifted and they all bolted.
Screw this written guarantee, I think I am cursed. I start tracking them and find them about 30 minutes later. Long story short I stalked and crawled for 45 minutes and finally took a 150 yard shot standing up. We were in a thick river bottom and I couldn’t get a shot sitting or find a tree limb to rest to use as a gun rest. Of course, as my season goes, I miss and they scatter. Later as the sun is setting I get within 50 yards of two big bulls and watch them in awe.
I pack my bags that night to leave for Thanksgiving. I have one more morning to hunt and then my season is done. At dawn I go straight back to the river and start hiking. At about 9:30a.m. I see a cow elk about 250 yards away standing broadside through a small tunnel of trees. I slowly sit, concentrate on my breathing, and squeeze the trigger. She drops instantly. I am elated, “did I really just get my elk?”
I give it about five minutes and go looking for her. I find her and a rush of emotions wash over me. I am happy that I got my elk for the season and incredibly sad that I took this beautiful animals life. I love eating the meat and not supporting the cattle industry. I love hunting and walking in the woods. I saw so many amazing sunrises and tons of wildlife this year.
I thank the elk that gave herself to us this year. She smelled sweet and had a beautiful coat. The bull in contrast last year was filthy and smelled of piss and sweat.
I cleaned the elk and quartered her. I got her out of there at about 5:00p.m. Five hours after I was supposed to leave, but this time Jess was very undrestanding. We postponed our trip to her parents house and left early the next day for Thanksgiving.
Next year the only written gaurentee that I have for you is, “I will never make another gaurentee.”
Signed
Eric Seymour
